Il commento di Nicholas Klacsanzky alla versione inglese del mio haiku “la prima neve”.
road to home—
first snowflakes fall
on my memories
strada di casa
sui ricordi d’infanzia
la prima neve
© Maria Laura Valente
(previously appeared in “My mandala – Haiku Anthology”, Cascina Macondo, 2015.; also appeared in “Inchiostri d’Autore”, Accademia Barbanera Edizioni, 2016; “La couleur d’un poème”, Milan, 9 July 2016 (1st prize))
I am not conversant in Italian, but I enjoy the sound of the English translation of this haiku. The “o” sound in “road,” “to,” “home,” “snowflakes,” “on,” and “memories” gives a sense of something drawn out, as in a journey home. Also, the alliteration of “first” and “fall” works well to give emphasis.
Though this haiku seems nostalgic, it mixes with the present moment with “first snowflakes.” I think this mixture gives a sense of introspection or a sense of an ever-changing life.
Though the first line indicates a road home and then a personal reference is…
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